Good morning everyone!  Elizabeth is back in school today, they’ve had a lot of time off over the last two weeks.  I like it when she is home but she was ready to head back to school today.  Oh she was not jumping out of the bed, I still had to drag her.  My workout starts early, I pull her out of bed, lift and carry her to the bathroom.  Everyone does that right?  She’ll be sixteen and I’ll still be doing that.

My post today is about taking compliments.  Do I practice what I preach on this one?  No.  It is still a work in progress.  Several of you know this about me.  Some may be surprised.  I have found my confidence again and feel comfortable being myself.  Accepting my weight loss completely and being proud of it is still hard.  I can own what I’ve done to some extent but I struggle with saying thanks.  Face to face is the worst.  I can put on the face and say thanks but inside its killing me to accept the kind words.  People have contacted me and told me through e-mail, facebook, twitter- that’s easier for me.  But face to face – that’s hard.  Even with Ms. T, when she tells me – ugh I can hardly look her in the eyes.  I usually have some sarcastic response.  My standard response is usually, “oh yes my 2nd ass”.  I still see what I think are imperfections.  Very recently she forced me to look her straight in the eyes while she told me how proud she is of me.  What she see’s when she looks at me.  I wanted to cry.  Not because of her kindness and for all that she’s done for me but because I can’t take her seriously.  Isn’t that awful?  All that work and this is where I am.  I have teared up a bit with her, telling her how I appreciate her and how she’s helped me. I don’t know that I could ever thank her enough.  But taking those compliments, UGH!!!  My family and friends know how I can be and they deal.  Shouldn’t have to though right?

My point is, don’t do this!!!  Take the compliments and be happy.  Me telling you all this will force me to work on it as well.  It’s good to have your goals set but as you are reaching them accept the kind words from family and friends!  I complained when I was heavy and I complain 110 pounds later.  I can have a goal but it doesn’t mean that I currently don’t look healthy.  Let’s remember this!  When we are making a step in the right direction, its something to be proud of.  It’s ok to joke as long as we don’t really believe it.  I joke but unfortunately I believe what I am saying.  This will be another new goal of mine.  Don’t get stuck in this like I have!!!!!!

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