Good morning everyone!  Well it’s Friday and this is not the best day for me to be feeling bad about food.  I’m feeling bad because I want to eat everything that tastes freakin good!!!  Good and unhealthy!  Having a food issue on Friday doesn’t always bode well for me heading into the weekend.  A couple of things are pushing me in the direction of wanting to eat everything in our entire pantry!  Ladies, you know what I mean.  Salty, sweet, salty sweet!  I have been hanging on by a thread the last several weeks.  I eat in moderation these days, leaning more towards a strict side, but my ten-year battle with food rears its ugly head now and then. I know for me it’s not acceptable to eat the amount of food an NFL linebacker can eat but it hasn’t stopped me in the past.  It’s a fine line for me though,  can I eat in moderation and risk slipping or am I game on at all times?  My fear is that I can’t waiver.  If I allow Ben&Jerry to come back in our house can I kick them out again or will the three of us be BFF’s again?  120 pounds lost and honestly there are days when I want to forget it, give up.  I still see flaws anyway!  I watch what I eat, I go to Fitness19 almost everyday and all I see are flaws.  When I get in a mindset like this, my head goes to a place of wondering why I bother.  Of course I know why I bother, I want to be healthy, I want it for me and I want it for my family.  We can’t pretend it’s so easy can we?  Our insides are telling us what’s right but our hands can sure as shit pick up that box of Thin Mints and shove them all in our mouth whilst we are still thinking about our health!  Add to that any other struggle, we all have different ones.   My friends Dilantin, Trileptal and Keppra can sometimes add just enough lack of motivation to my mood and watch out!!  Discussion’s with friends state side and across the pond, we all handle our meds differently.  It’s clear to me that mine can affect my motivation just enough to where I become lazy or I decide to battle the Super Bowl champion’s defensive line in an eating contest.  Evaluate what is making things hard for you to start or achieve the healthy lifestyle you are working for.  Most of ours won’t be the same.  Just like moderation works for many, I have to say that it doesn’t work for me.  Have a great day!!!  Oh, I promise not to eat like a Super Bowl football champ today!

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