March 11, 2013

Wednesday night during my stay proved successful!  Many seizure’s were documented which was thrilling for my Dr.’s.  Fabulous yet annoying for me!  I had not expected to be questioned by the monitoring tech., calling to me on the speaker by my bed literally seconds after a seizure.  Really?  I am asleep for one thing – seldom do I totally wake-up after a night-time seizure.  Late evening, maybe.  Sleeping seizures – No!  My medication does a pretty good job of knocking me out.  I usually wake my husband up.  I don’t know I’ve had one unless he tells me or I annoy Ms. Milly enough that she barks at me. Plus, I was sleeping away from home – of course I was gonna be disoriented if I woke in the middle of the night and not know what to say.  I’ve been at my parent’s house and woke up not knowing where I am.  So having some women calling out to me asking me if I am ok, do I know my name, where I am etc.  No, I actually don’t know jackshit.  Leave me alone I am trying to sleep!  That didn’t go over well when I didn’t answer.  That resulted in several nurses rushing to my room.  I would have tried harder to answer if I had known that was gonna happen.

Thursday morning my two Dr.’s came in and they were pleased to inform me that I had given them some information.  I was excited!  Did I get to go home then?  Was it enough?  Nope!  How about Friday?  If I could give them some good seizure’s Thursday night would they let me go home Friday?  They weren’t sure.  They really wanted one more night and then they needed to put me back on my full dosage of medication.  It was looking more like Saturday.  Well that didn’t make me very happy.  WHATEVER!  That was my mood!  Not happy.  It was taking everything I had at that point to remain civil.  I was talking to my family and trying to stay in control.  I was able to chit-chat with my neighbor and joke about the food but she knew I was a bit tense.  It was Thursday and I was looking at two more full days and two nights.  I was twitching all over the place with flushes coming up my limbs and through my head.  I was completely disconnected head.  I have these weird feelings that I can’t explain.  I’ve mentioned before but it’s believed that these sensations are simple partial seizures

I was struggling to remain friendly.  I was starting to get emotional after I got off the phone with my family.  The food was gross.  My fav Nurse gave me coffee and brough me crackers because I hadn’t eaten much from Monday to Thursday.  Breakfast hadn’t been great and lunch wasn’t much better.  More joking between me and my neighbor.

After lunch I was exhausted!  How?  All I was doing was sitting in bed, watching TV, reading, listening to music and going to the bathroom.  That made me tired.  Following lunch I could hardly keep my eyes open.  It was time for music and a nap.  Exhausting!  Being asked to do something that your Dr.’s have been trying to prevent, such a strange thing.  Coming off meds is no fun either!  I was grouchy, I was starting to space out a little.  It is a weird feeling that I can’t describe.  I slept most of the afternoon, I don’t think I woke up until shortly before dinner.  Honestly it was becoming too much for me.  Wire’s on my head, a harness on my chest to my back that held the wires and its unit.  Being watched 24/7 and having people in and out all the time, I was reaching my breaking point.

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