Hello Everyone!!

I am home.  We had a wonderful spring break with family and friends.  I met up with two friends that I haven’t seen in years.  It was so nice.  I re-connected through facebook – once I actually started a real facebook page.  I had been on there but under a different name.  What some may call “stripper name”.  You know, the name of your first pet and the first street you lived on?  I had a fabulous name.  I was only “friends” with local friends.  Once I started the blog and attached it to facebook and twitter I started using my actual name.  Never been a stripper by the way, many friends have seen me dance to Thrift Shop (thanks to Elizabeth) and it is NOT pretty.

Aye, I have so many things to blog about because I was not blogging much while I was gone.  So to start, I recall telling you all that I was going to be spot on during the break.  Working out and eating healthy.  Well, my Mom and I did workout.  I believe I blogged about her posh gym.  It is very nice.  I missed my Fitness 19 though.  Love my gym and the fact that we can be serious but also be complete jackholes and no one cares!  Back to me staying on track.  WELL that kinda went to hell in a hand.  Workouts? yes.  Eating healthy? No!!  I was awful!!  I said I was going to enjoy a Reese egg and a couple of those little chocolate Cadbury eggs with the hard shell.  Moderation, Ha!  Oh hell yes I enjoyed them!  Too many of them.  I ate so much chocolate and had so many snacks on Sunday that I wanted to puke.  My Mom was miserable too.  We felt so miserable on Sunday that Monday we felt even worse.  Yet poor choices here and there continued.  Why do we do this?  Is there a solution?  Bailey and I were talking about this with our friend Leah while at the gym today.  Why do we let ourselves eat poorly or eat too much of something in a hot second, rationalizing it at the time.  Telling ourselves it’s ok, we’ll have just a little.  How easy is it though to give ourselves a whole day pass because of one Reese egg (for example).  A whole week pass!  It’s not an everyday occurrence, I’m talking more in terms of vacations, holidays, etc.  I admit that it scares me a bit though.  As hard-core as I can be, will I ever be able to restrict myself and not gorge?  I’ve told you all you can’t give yourselves a free pass yet I struggled over the break.  Leah said it today – a moment on the lips then a pound on the hips (maybe not her exact words).  I love me some Reese eggs but not one of those eggs tasted so good that I said “that was yummy and worth it”.  Not the first one or the last.  I told you all I felt like shit after I ate all those spritz cookies at Christmas and then I turned right around and ate too much at Easter.

All the weight loss and I still learn lessons everyday.  My local friends think I am pretty hard-core, honestly I guess I am but for those of you who believe that I never mess up, it’s not true.  Guys, and I don’t mean this snobbish, I get compliments all the time about my success, questions about how I made it happen.  I’ve been telling you how in my weight loss story and share different things in my daily posts but I will never have this figured out perfectly.  Accepting that this is and will be a consistent battle for me helps, in a strange way it is a relief to acknowledge that this will always be a struggle.   Just like my UK friend has taught me about epilepsy – I have it and accepting that it is part of me helps in being able to move forward.  Punishing ourselves for our poor food choices isn’t going to help our healthy lifestyle efforts but maybe we do deserve a little time out!  I used to put Elizabeth on the simmer down chair when she misbehaved.  Maybe I should have to sit there for a minute for every Reese egg I ate.  Lord I wouldn’t be allowed to move until Friday!

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