002Gym photo for the day.  It’s a beauty!  I was trying to walk on the treadmill, take the photo and NOT fall off.  This is the picture I get when trying to do all those things at the same time.  I can sorta be ok with a picture like this because I am not being serious.  Layers people, many layers.  My sense of humor is there in terms of my appearance but I am not sure if that is good or bad.  Clearly I enjoy using humor to cover feelings.  I’ll snap a bad photo of myself, no make-up, hair sweaty and pulled back looking awful and put a stupid grin on my face – I’ll post that picture for ya.  But when I am in a mood where I feel bad about my weight, like now, just try to get me to take a decent photo – forget it!!  This type of picture is meant to be funny.  I can laugh to cause I’m not being serious.  A picture that is intended to be good, for me, that invites judgment.  Today was a good gym day though and good chit-chat with my friends.  Trying to focus on that.

SOOOOOO, I changed the appearance of my site, don’t be alarmed.  I believe everything has transferred over.  Now I will be spending the next several days tweaking it.  Eric never thought he’d hear me say some of the things I do now, computer type stuff.  I am also going to make dinner tonight.  At least it is something that I CAN make.  It’s a dish that Eric likes and I don’t usually mess this one up.

Don’t let my down in the dumps about myself affect you.  I don’t regret this journey.  My feelings about weight go way back.  I have always put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to my weight.  There was never pressure put on me, I did it to myself but I don’t know why and it comes and goes.  I am one of the girls/women who struggle and don’t have an explanation as to why. I only want you all to take the positive from this blog.  I can’t be a hypocrite though.  I said this was a journey and there have been battles.  How I see myself is one of mine.  Stay positive guys, I will work on that as well.  Focus on our positive goals!!!

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