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Maybe one day I will take a picture of Bailey and I being serious.  I do have one of us in my pic.’s section, when we were in DC for a dance competition.  It’s a good picture but other than that, we are just being foolish!

I am thinking today about whether or not some of the battles I have with weight, food etc. will ever end.  I still struggle to be happy with the number I see on that damn scale.  I wake up some days and tell myself that I will make it through the day without any food battles.  Some days I do and some days I don’t.  I am tired of that feeling.  I hate it when I crave food that I shouldn’t eat.  Thoughts of when I was heavy return.  When I was 228, 258- I’d just tell myself to have that piece of cake and I’d start fresh the next day.  It still happens but I am much better at controlling it now.  I CAN walk away, plus I am working out almost everyday so that makes a big difference.  I think a big mistake I made in the past was setting myself up for perfection and unrealistic goals.  No slip ups were allowed!  So when I did slip, I felt I was a failure.   Failure mode – I gave up. 

I couldn’t have done what I did without T.  When I first started with T, I was a hot  mess.  I busted my butt on the days I worked out with her but adding additional workouts and watching what I ate took forever to come along.  Changing my diet was hard and adding additional exercise was tough too.  I’ve shared detail on all of that in my weight loss story section.  Honestly though, it never ends.  In my heart I know it.   T has said so many things to me during this journey.  Things that encouraged me then and still do now.  She is constantly in my head, ringing in my ears – some days I wish she’d hush!!!  The things I tell you all, words to encourage you, I say them to myself daily.  Words from T.  I don’t know if she will ever NOT be a driving force behind my lifestyle change.  I only see her once a week now but she’s always in my head.  I guess she makes my frustrations easier to deal with.   Have a good one!!

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