Hello everyone!  Well I have been away from my blog, twitter and my fitepileptic fb page for several days.  I feel a bit detached and now am not sure where I left off and where to start.  I think I mentioned Friday that my daughter had a dance competition over the weekend so I would not be blogging.  The dance team did great and our competition season is over.  It was a long day on Saturday and I spent Sunday recovering and am still not quite there.  I believe if I got really comfortable and sat for a few minutes I would probably fall asleep.  I am trying to keep busy and working on getting back on my usual schedule.

I went to the gym today with Leah.  Our girl Bailey isn’t feeling so hot today.  I think I have mentioned that Bailey is my daughter’s dance teacher, Leah’s daughter too.  A long day for us on Saturday was even longer for Bailey.  We did a lot of moving early in the day and then we did a lot of sitting.  Bailey was always moving.  Twice now I have gone with this expectation that I can and will do well with food while at competition but I don’t.  What do you do when you just don’t have a lot of food options?  I’ve packed food, snacks, said I’d do this or that but it doesn’t happen the way I want.  I was up at 4 am getting myself ready and then got my daughter up at 5 am to do her hair and make-up.  Over to the competition by 6:15/6:30.  Our first dance going off at 7:05 am.  We had approximately a three-hour break before the two big production numbers were up.  Nothing around to eat but fast food.  So this is what my Mom and I decided  – when you just bring snacks you just keep snacking, even if they are healthy snacks.  You just can’t get enough!  At some point you are just dying for hot food.  What if Burger King is your only option?  I haven’t come up with a solution.  If you have suggestions please let me know!!!  When I am starving and I want FOOD, hot food – honestly at that point I just don’t care!!!

So let me come back to the scale.  It will be a week tomorrow that my scale has been gone.  I am in a bit of a negative phase.  I hate that stupid silver scale with the blue light that flashes the number of disappointment.  I don’t want to step on it because I know I will be pissed. Yet part of me needs to be sure I haven’t passed a certain amount.  When I look in the mirror I feel like I need to lose about 15 pds.  For those of you that have an opinion, I don’t want to discuss it.  Yes I am maintaining.  To me though, I am maintaining a weight that is unacceptable.  I don’t know what my weight is after a week of no weighing but I have a pretty good guess.  Anyway, I am off to finish a few things up around my house and will be doing some research on what to do when food choices are limited.  I will also be researching unhealthy relationships with scales!!!

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