Today was my first big effort towards a positive attitude.  I have mentioned that I go through phases.  I can radiate positive vibes when it comes to weight loss – health and fitness.  I can also be so negative and critical of myself, have nothing positive to say that I pretty much become an annoyance.  I am desperately trying to get away from being so negative.  So today I took a step towards positive.  It was not easy, I had that moment when my mind was telling me that staying at home chilling would be a fabulous idea but I got up and made the decision to move!  I knew Bailey was most likely not going to the gym because she was very very sick yesterday.  I decided that if Leah was going then I would too.  Otherwise I was going to workout at home.  Sitting on my ass was not an option!  What happened?  Leah texted me and said she was going and would pick me up since our girl Bailey was still recovering.   I know they both just love how I through them out there in my posts!!!

Positivity is an effort everyday.  Positive thinking towards weight, fitness & health.  Right there, my UK friend and a couple other pals, it doesn’t just happen for me.  For ten yrs I carried over 100 pds of extra weight so any weight loss on my journey was great!  I am more critical now.  If I am not where I want to be weight wise I can go into a big slump of negativity.  It is very hard to talk myself through those moments.   Along with the negative attitude come the big clothes.  For years I have covered myself up with clothes.  If I think I look fat, baggy clothes become the choice.  That isn’t encouraging, seeing big baggy clothes, just brings you down more.  I have been wearing sweat pants and t-shirts to the gym that fit me when I was 258.  How is that encouraging?  I decided that I would wear clothes that fit today.  I was a little uncomfortable at first but I searched for that confidence I had as the weight was coming off.  My clothes fit today and ultimately I felt pretty good about it.  Gosh this never ends.  I can tell you all, and myself for that matter, to push through and be strong but it really does require a change in mind set.  

When I started this blog I was so positive and really wanted to share this journey, I still do.  I wasn’t really prepared for the uncovering of long standing issues that I have with weight and appearance AND that I have told you all about them.  Wearing gym clothes that fit today brought me out from hiding a little bit I think.  Baggy clothes are my security yet they make me feel like shit.  They have been security for years.  My whole point with this post is that we have to make a choice.  We have to decide to be positive just like somedays we have to decide to be happy.   I say it like it is easy, ha!  Realizing that our choice is going to be very difficult some days but staying positive about our success is the only way we can get to our goals.  Oh and staying off the damn scale!  It’s been one week now.

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