What is up with my core today? I feel like I have no core strength. T was here earlier and I realized I was having a problem with an exercise when I caught her laughing at me. I couldn’t get this one exercise right. Was it my core or was it my coordination? I think it was a bit of both but she laughed!! Have I been so focused on getting to a number that is not realistic, my mid-section has now paid the price? I certainly hope not. I don’t really have a problem looking like a jackhole but I do have an issue with a weak core. Plus I can’t take it when I give T too much to laugh at.
I can work on that – I have the mental and physical strength to get through core moves that T throws my way. I am still working on having the strength to avoid the scale. Our parting was a week ago yesterday. I am ok but I desperately want to know what my weight is right now. I like that my mood is not being affected by a number but I am also a bit stressed that I can’t do a check in. My emotions swirl so much in my head that I almost make it impossible to think straight. Weight, fitness and health – that alone is enough to process. I add my impaired brain to that and my thought process is in overdrive. You’d think I would try to manage things differently and not let something like my scale take over. Laugh one minute, complain the next and then I am just pissed. The scale is a liar – a twitter friend said. It certainly is but I still want to know what it has to say.
I have been trying for days to complete updates to my blog but I can’t manage to get a clear point out. I am consumed with the trivial matter of how much I weigh. I want to accept my weight and appearance. I also want to hurl when someone tries to be nice to me when they mention how I look. Trying to do this may take a whole lot more strength than I’ve got.