9bbb81d09df0cd7a56fcc7b2986a1b10(love this picture)

Hey there everyone!!  I decided to take a moment to blog before I get busy around the house.  So much going on over the next few weeks.  I’ve thought about it in my head and I don’t think we have a free weekend until after the second weekend in January.  That’s ok, it’s all good stuff.  This time of year gets so busy for everyone doesn’t it?

Today was another good old fashion workout with T.  We were at my house doing lots of strength training.  That’s what we used to do.  She’d come to my house and kick my ass.  I really need it right now too!  T is still my cheerleader, she always will be.  I told her last week that I really needed her to help me again.  I’ve lost some of my drive because of my weight – I let that bring me down.  I’ve been such a poor dieter for so many years and because I’ve been even worse over the last several months, I really need her in my face.  I’ve struggled more these last several months than I did at any other time during my journey.  Dealing with starvation mode, giving it up.  It finally hit just like Tony said it would.  He told me I wasn’t going to be able to keep up starvation mode forever.  I gained weight, I really had no choice but it’s still been really hard for me to digest.  I’ve been a bear for many months now.  I’ve been negative, my moods turned on a dime and I’ve hardly blogged, I haven’t wanted to.

It’s a choice I’ve had to make.  It’s taken me several days to work through it too.  I truly want to commit to an appropriate diet.  I have to.  Everything is affected by weight and I have to stop that.  My last hurdle is giving myself that room for mess ups.  I keep telling myself that I’ve struggled with this for so long now that I am of course going to mess up.  I can’t say that though.  It hasn’t worked for me over the last several months right?

So T has changed up her schedule a bit so she can come back to my house.  She is my cheerleader and always will be.  Tony answers every single question I ask him.  He’s had to repeat himself so many times.  When health is your passion I guess you put up with jackholes like me.  It’s my turn to hold up my end of this.  In the past I’ve told you all I’m gonna stumble etc.  Why say that?  Set myself up for failure?  Diet, exercise, attitude – I’m not giving myself the option for failure.  Plan each day!

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