I hope everyone is wrapping up their shopping.  Finishing those last things so you can enjoy Christmas!!  I always enjoy some quiet time to hang with my family, no rushing about in the crowds!  That would probably push me over the edge.  Crowds!!!  I’ve been known to shop at Walmart with my headphones on.  Walmart this weekend would require hand-holding!!

Yesterday I mentioned my Dr. appointment – yes the one that got on my nerves.  My friend Ann took me and then we went to the gym.  I love giving her a hard time.  Everything I say to her usually has a lot of thought behind it.  Not sincere friendly thought.  I try with all efforts to be as snarky as I can!  I absolutely love catching her off guard with a comment.  I am the consistent bitchy, grouchy, rude friend that she can count on.  She is always positive.  She has upped her game with me a bit, she can challenge my snarky comments.  Yesterday I caught her off guard with positivity.  It was just rolling off my tongue.  She was day cramming as usual and I was actually giving her a boost with positive comments.  I can say that was probably the first time its been that way.  I mean I’m not a complete shit to her, don’t misunderstand, it’s just how our friendship is.  Thing is, she really appreciated it.  It wasn’t that hard either.  A few positive comments can change a persons day.   She of course knows that was it, it’ll be awhile before she see’s that side of me again.  I told her that was my Christmas gift to her. 

On to my diet.  Yesterday I told you all about sugars and the new plan to maintain a consistent blood sugar level.  Every time Tony tells me to follow something new my hard head, over-thinking brain and just pure pain in the ass self pops up.  I know I’m over-thinking this sugar thing but I don’t understand certain parts about glycemic index.  I mean I get the general idea of what I’m supposed to do but some of the charts that I see, yikes!!  Foods have different index numbers and I don’t get why.  I’m so confused I can’t even explain how I’m confused.  There’s index and load and I can’t figure out the difference between them.  Do I even need to?  The numbers are supposed to be below 55 for a low index but if the load is a certain number then it’s ok?  Like watermelon and pineapple.  This number 55, is it per meal or for the day?  I don’t know.  If there are no carbs are there no sugars?  Anyway, that’s where I am now, figuring it out.  I’m certain I’m making this harder than it needs to be.  It’s just that I am determined to feel better and avoid brain surgery.  I’ll change my diet and do what it takes.  Surgery just can’t be my only option!

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