Where has the time gone? It seems as though I was just blogging about the new year and here we are almost three weeks in. The year started with a dance competition so it has been a little busy at our house.
In one of my first posts of the new year, I said that I wanted to care a little more about how I look. Even though I’ve lost weight, I still lean towards baggy clothes. It may seem like a small thing to work on but for me its a big deal. So when I headed back to the gym the first Monday of the new year, I intended to wear clothes that fit. I was going to the gym with my friend Ann and I had fitted clothes ready. I was pumped. Then I started the battle with myself, at least 10 minutes. I had clothes on that fit but I changed and put my baggy sweats on because all I could do was critique myself. Instead of completely throwing in the towel, I decided to take baby steps. I refused to be a complete failure. I wore pants that fit and a big shirt. I was not totally thrilled but I did make a step in the right direction. Cold turkey with baggy clothes was a no for me.
When planning to head out-of-town for my daughters dance competition, I knew that was going to be another big test. It was last weekend, January 10th and it took me days to settle on clothes. I knew I was going to have to pull out some decent attire. Though my daughter is not totally hung up on my appearance, she is 9 and prefers it when I wear nicer clothes. How sad is it that my 9-year-old is telling me that I look good in fitted clothes and I can’t see it? She doesn’t hesitate to tell me what she thinks and she is telling me I look good. I managed jeans that fit and a shirt. The other two days I was in more comfy clothes because there was a lot of sitting. I did manage to make sure either my pants or shirt fit decent so I looked somewhat put together. Not a complete victory but a step in the right direction.
I try to remind myself everyday how important it is to be healthy. I try to remember what my goals are, what I want the most and tell myself that I won’t fail. It’s funny, when I first started losing weight I thought I’d have this mastered when I reached my weight goal. I thought I would know exactly what I needed to do to stay at a good weight. I stupidly thought it would be easy at some point. I have hope that one day this will be easy, that I won’t have to talk myself through everything. One day it will all just make sense.