Good day all!  Once again a bit of time away from my blog.  I don’t even have a legit excuse as to why.  The days just seem to get away from me.  We’ve had a crazy winter thus far, rather unusual weather for this area.  It’s starting to look like we may have more heading our way.  

So back on Friday January 24th I had my weight checked.  Bailey is back so she, Leah and I decided we needed to set our weight goals.  I once again had to decide to commit myself to tackling the ridiculous hurdles that I put in my way.  How many times have I been told to get my shit together and make it happen?  More than I can even count.  I need to focus on balancing my calories and keep my focus off the scale.  Problem is that avoiding the scale is hard for me.  It’s one of the big obstacles I put in my way.  I let it affect me.  That obstacle is one of my challenges and I gotta win it.  It’s what brings me down every time.  So, since the 24th I have NOT weighed at home.  It has been great because it has allowed me to only think about food and exercise.  Weight checks only at the gym!  So when I stepped on the scale two days ago, backwards of course, I was a little anxious.  I waited to hear.  Tony said ok your good.  I didn’t want to seem too interested but I needed to know.  Not the number, that’s the whole reason he checks it.  I wanted to know if I had maintained or if I had possibly lost anything.  I have been working out and eating and I really wanted to know.  All I could say was – ok so its fine?  He said yeah, THEN I got the words I was dying to hear.  I was down,  4 lbs.  That is the first time that I think I have ever legit lost weight.  None of my games just straight on doing what I have been told to do.  I know some people wonder how that can be, my whole blog is about me losing weight.  Well, I was 258 pds and I had been eating whatever I wanted.  When I started this process, I cut a few things out of my diet, made better choices and I started working out – the weight came off.  It was the last 20 to 30 pds that became hard.  That’s when my old diet demons returned.  

Every pd counts!  4 pds and I didn’t starve to do it.  Normally I would decide to cut way back to lose more but not this time.  Weekly I will ask Tony to check my weight but I won’t know and don’t want to know the number.  I just need to know that I am where I should be.  My goal is to get to a healthy weight and do it right.  I’m going to tackle the food and not worry about the actual number right now.  Down the road I’ll work on facing the scale myself.  Stepping on it backwards is fine by me for now!!  Have a great weekend everyone!!

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