How’s it going everyone?  I’ve been to the gym and am prepared to continue on with a positive, successful day.     

So I wanted to follow-up with my last post.  I asked you all to let me know what your struggles are when it comes to health and fitness.  I was and wasn’t surprised to hear that many of our battles are the same.  I say surprised because I often feel like I am the only one who thinks I don’t handle health and fitness well.  Obviously I really know it’s not just me but when I am struggling, rationality goes out the window.   When I am in a negative mood I will start thinking that I can’t do anything right.  Add to that my medications, actually just epilepsy in general, and I can be pathetic.  It’s horrible when I do that.  I hate that I fight to act normal around my daughter and that my husband has to deal with my ridiculous moods.  I can get to where I don’t even want to take accountability for myself.  I will tell myself its ok I didn’t exercise because I couldn’t get to the gym.  Yeah, well I have a gym in my home so I have no excuses!!  None.  I know how much better I feel when I eat right and exercise, why do I stray from it?  Stupidity!! I’ve decided I absolutely have to take control and I am bouncing back from my sour mood.  I am and will be in control.    

Early this morning I read a post that my cousin put on facebook.  He mentioned a few things but overall it was about instant gratification.  I know I know, you had no idea that I wanted immediate results with health and fitness.  Yeah, I’ve only told you all that Tony has told me a million times to knock that shit off.  I am a person who wants immediate results though.  I have fallen for the commercials and advertisements telling me that I could see significant weight loss if I just spent money on a certain pill, diet program or exercise machine.  I simply ignored the part that said pills, plans or machines should be used along with healthy diet or exercise.  I wanted that 30 day transformation.  Seriously, I was 258 and I thought I would be 140 in 30 days?  Anyway, I no longer purchase any products but I do ignore the advice I ask for.  I’ve done really well the last few days, especially with exercise.  It is making that decision and committing.  Tony has said it a million times and my cousin said it today – we have to work for the results we want.       

I’ve had the exercise part down but for the last 8 to 9 months I have been trying to get the diet part right.  I’ve let the weight gain from eating more bother me.  I’ve given the scale too much power.  This last slump I was in was pretty bad and I can not let that happen again.  I won’t do that to my family or myself.  Being healthy and fit is hard and can not be achieved over-night.    

My Cuz reminded me of the shit I have fallen for for many years.  Though I don’t fall for the diet gimmicks anymore, I do expect Tony to say something to me that is going to make everything click.  Thing is he already has.  I’m the one that has to put it together and I did that this morning.  I have the words that push me most typed into the notes app on my phone.  I leave it open and every time I lose patience with myself I read through the words and then move on.

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