Time has passed so quickly! It seems like it wasn’t that long ago that I published a blog. I checked this morning and it has been a month and a half! June has flown by. Between our daughter’s dance season wrapping (and new season starting again) and school ending, I’ve blinked my eyes and it’s mid July!! I hope everyone is having a great summer!!
I’m still wearing my fitbit and still loving it. It’s purple, for epilepsy awareness!! My weight has not changed as of late. I am honestly ok with that right now. Well, let me explain that. I was on vacation for two weeks, back in the gym a couple of days and now Bailey is on vacation. So the gym has been hit or miss. SO, I am ok that I have maintained. My activity hasn’t stopped, I am just finding other ways to be active. Like while on vacation, our daughter’s pool time activities were equivalent to high impact aerobics!! I did go to the gym with my friend Leah yesterday and my arms are killing me today!
I am home now for the rest of the summer and I must return to a more focused mindset. I mean it’s not that I let all rational thoughts of health go out the window when vacationing!! But YES, I enjoyed a very delicious cheeseburger while at the beach. I also had a couple of cold beers too!! In the past I put so much pressure on myself, believing from that start that I would fail over the summer and I ultimately did!! If I gained one pound I considered that failure!! It was brutal. I work really hard now to try and look at the bigger picture.
I currently battle the thoughts of lower calories to try and get the quick fix. The fast weight loss that I want so badly. The kind I know won’t stick. Yet I’ve also had a few binge moments too. Which is the extreme opposite of starving!!!! How can I be both? I’m trying to be honest with myself about those issues. It doesn’t bother me to say it, its more like I can’t really believe it. I just think – who does that? What kind of person is both? How do I get so much satisfaction from starving and bingeing? Tony said to me once, I equate starving to success. Any time I’ve lost weight I’ve done so by extreme calorie cuts. So for me that feeling of huger means I am losing weight and I feel like I am being successful. I completely agree, makes total sense to me! On the binge side, we never talked about it because I only once kinda admitted that maybe I did binge here and there. With bingeing, it tastes great for 0.25 seconds and then I feel like a cow failure. So you’d think I’d stick with starving because at least I felt successful right? Thing is, you can only do it for so long. At my age I am still picking up the pieces of poor diet habits.
I’m trying to remember to take a step back and think. Have a great summer everyone. #riseabove