Time has passed so quickly!  It seems like it wasn’t that long ago that I published a blog.  I checked this morning and it has been a month and a half!  June has flown by.  Between our daughter’s dance season wrapping (and new season starting again) and school ending, I’ve blinked my eyes and it’s mid July!!  I hope everyone is having a great summer!!

I’m still wearing my fitbit and still loving it.  It’s purple, for epilepsy awareness!!  My weight has not changed as of late.  I am honestly ok with that right now.  Well, let me explain that.  I was on vacation for two weeks, back in the gym a couple of days and now Bailey is on vacation.  So the gym has been hit or miss.  SO, I am ok that I have maintained.  My activity hasn’t stopped, I am just finding other ways to be active.  Like while on vacation, our daughter’s pool time activities were equivalent to high impact aerobics!!  I did go to the gym with my friend Leah yesterday and my arms are killing me today!

I am home now for the rest of the summer and I must return to a more focused mindset.  I mean it’s not that I let all rational thoughts of health go out the window when vacationing!!  But YES, I enjoyed a very delicious cheeseburger while at the beach.  I also had a couple of cold beers too!!  In the past I put so much pressure on myself, believing from that start that I would fail over the summer and I ultimately did!!  If I gained one pound I considered that failure!!  It was brutal.  I work really hard now to try and look at the bigger picture.

I currently battle the thoughts of lower calories to try and get the quick fix.  The fast weight loss that I want so badly.  The kind I know won’t stick.  Yet I’ve also had a few binge moments too.  Which is the extreme opposite of starving!!!!  How can I be both?  I’m trying to be honest with myself about those issues.  It doesn’t bother me to say it, its more like I can’t really believe it.  I just think – who does that?  What kind of person is both?  How do I get so much satisfaction from starving and bingeing?  Tony said to me once, I equate starving to success.  Any time I’ve lost weight I’ve done so by extreme calorie cuts. So for me that feeling of huger means I am losing weight and I feel like I am being successful.  I completely agree, makes total sense to me!  On the binge side, we never talked about it because I only once kinda admitted that maybe I did binge here and there.  With bingeing, it tastes great for 0.25 seconds and then I feel like a cow failure.  So you’d think I’d stick with starving because at least I felt successful right?  Thing is, you can only do it for so long.  At my age I am still picking up the pieces of poor diet habits.

I’m trying to remember to take a step back and think.  Have a great summer everyone.  #riseabove




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